Sitting in the corner of her room, rocking herself to a state somewhere between sleep and awake, dead and alive, she's almost there;
the thoughts don't make any sense;
the breathing has calmed down;
the eyes have been fixated on her knees for so long she doesn't even know what she's looking at anymore;

the feeling still remains.

The feeling of wow-i-remember-what-it-used-to-be-like-looking-at-all-of-them-wondering-howcouldthey-howcouldthey-howcouldthey mixed with the feeling of now-she-is-looking-at-all-that-is-left-of-me-wondering-howcanshe-howcanshe-howcanshe;
the mixed up feeling once again getting mixed up with another feeling;
it-is-wrong-wrong-wrong-it-is-wrong;
and another;
it-is-okay-it-is-fine-it-will-be-fine-you-can-do-it-do-not-bail-on-us-now-we-have-come-so-far-just-a-little-more-more-more-a-little-more-please.

She tries to zone out the feelings, thinking that rocking will help;
looking at her knees will help;
thinking of nothing except babbles will help;
they must help;
they will help;

she needs to try harder.

do-not-care-do-not-care-donotcare-about-this-now-do-not-think-about-this-now---tomorrow-is-a-new-day-leave-thinking-for-new-days-new-beginnings-not-now-not-now-you-cannot-now-you-need-to-be-numb-now---feelingless-emotionless-less-of-a-human-now.

Rocking;
and rocking;
it all becomes blurry;
emotionless;
numb;


free.